it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
