you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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