In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think I died a long time ago.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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