I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize