I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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