He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
