You just made me feel so damn special
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
