Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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