I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Acid is not a monday night drug
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
