dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
