Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
