We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
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Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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