he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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