READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm bleeding and have questions
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize