you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
