4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
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i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
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Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
i now understand why vodka
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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