bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
