what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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