So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
