Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
