Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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