My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
