He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
