she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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