Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
