I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
