Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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