they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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