Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
