i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
