it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
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