Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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