Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
