someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??