You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.