Me. At least after what I've been through.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".