Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
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He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
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WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
you're hired as official boob wrangler