Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
