fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
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I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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