and next time when you feel me up, do it right
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
