1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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