I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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