now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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