Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
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I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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