Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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