I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
how does that bad decision feel?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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