I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
