New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
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Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
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Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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