apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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