what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
