On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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