yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad