Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.