I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.