We named our party play list daddy issues
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon