She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
