At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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