I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
