Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.