Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.