id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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