is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
