he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
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